Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday Weigh-In

Today's weight: 189.5

That right folks!  I wish I could say that it was because of my own awesomeness, but, in reality, I caught some sort of virus.  I've been super sick for the past few days.  Not much of an appetite, and when I do eat, it usually comes back up.


Friday, October 21, 2011


I took the kiddos to the park a week ago, and decided to try Vala out in the swing for the first time.  I'll let you be the judge if she liked it or not.
It's a little hard to tell.

Here is Abby telling Vala how awesome swinging is.

I'm amazed how big Abby looks compared to Vala here.  When did my baby become such a big girl? 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Wednesday Weigh-In (on Thursday!)

So I weighed myself yesterday and then completely forgot to post it!

Here it is:  195

Down a pound since last week.  Even though it's only one pound, I will take it. 

What I did this week: 
  • Tried to focus on eating smaller portions.
  • Only ate fast food once!  (Baby steps.)
  • Played soccer and walked 2 miles.
I still need to work on working out more.  There is a 5:30am spinning class at my gym on Wednesday and Friday mornings.  I'm thinking I might give it a try. 

I will be back tomorrow with something that is not weight related!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday Weigh-In

So sorry that I missed this last week!  I had my days all mixed up, because I had our annual Girls Weekend with my 3 besties from college and didn't get back home until late on Monday.  I didn't realize I missed the weigh-in until Thursday and then decided to just wait until today to do it.

Here is the ugly truth: 196.0. 

Ugh.  Back at the beginning...  I had a feeling this was going to happen after Girls Weekend.  We ate a ton.  Especially lots of candy.  We did go on a 3 mile walk, but that wasn't enough.  Also, since I didn't get to go to the grocery store like I normally do, I ended up eating fast food for lunch 3 days.  And didn't work out at all. 

I feel so frustrated.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday Weigh-In

Today's weight: 193.5

Down 3 pounds since last week!  I was pleasantly surprised when I stood on the scale.  It is so nerve-racking when you are waiting for the scale to stop thinking about how much you weigh.

This week I:
  • Didn't eat any fastfood.
  • Cooked dinner at home and packed my lunch every day.
  • Only drank 1 soda.
  • Only ate ONE piece of cake at the surprise birthday party we threw for my mom.  That is monumental!
Physical activity this week:
  • Played soccer on Friday in my indoor league.  Still staying clear of the gym.
I know I need to do more in the physical activity department.  I downloaded Couch to 5K on my ipod, so I am going to start doing that.

This was an encouraging week!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wednesday Weigh-In

I have reached a point where I don't recognize the girl in the mirror anymore.  When someone tags me in a picture on facebook, I untag it as fast as I can.  If I see someone from high school while at the store, I hide.  I don't want anyone to see me like this.  I don't like looking at myself like this.

I constantly tell myself I'm going to get serious about eating right/exercising tomorrow.  Or Monday.  Or the 1st of the month...Right after I finish off this bag of cookies or tub of ice cream.  Then I will start. 

I have a gym membership, but I hate to go because I feel too fat to be there.  How dumb is that?  Isn't that what the gym is FOR?

I have never understood why I never make any progress and I think it's because I don't have any accountibility.  There is only so much I can do alone.  I need someone else to know about these goals.

So I am going to commit to getting rid of this weight.  Every Wednesday I'm going to post how much I weigh.  This scares the crap out of me, and I'm extremely embarrassed to put the number on paper (interweb?).  But maybe that's a good thing.

So here it is:                    196.5

My goal weight is 145.  I don't have a specific time frame I would like to lose the 50 pounds in.  That has been a huge problem of mine.  I set unrealistic goals (20 pounds in 2 weeks?  Yeah, I tried to do that once.  Obviously didn't work.) and then feel devastated when I don't reach them.

Wish me luck! 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Life has been crazy lately, thus the lack of posting.  Tomorrow I will be back with a new thing I want to do every Wednesday.  Until then, I'll leave you with my new favorite picture of the sisters.

Friday, August 12, 2011


Beauty.  I have struggled with feelings of insecurity since I was in high school.  I can't pinpoint exactly when I started feeling so un-beautiful, but it is something that has grown and grown.  There have been times when I couldn't even look in the mirror because I was so disgusted/embarrassed by what I saw.

And then I had 2 beautiful daughters.

And I promised myself that I would change the way I feel about myself for them.  They need a mother who likes herself.  Who thinks she is beautiful.  And who teaches them to find beauty in themselves and in others.

It has been a slow process.  And I still struggle on a daily basis.  But it is getting easier.

I see something of myself in both of my girls every single day, and that really does make me feel beautiful.  Abby's eyes.  Vala's chin.  They are sweet reflections of me, and I love my girls all the more for showing me how to find the beauty in myself again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Death By Dance

Abby is taking a ballet/tumbling class every Wednesday night this summer.  Grammy and Grandpa (Steve's parents) got her dance classes for her 2nd birthday.  I cannot even tell you how excited I was for these dance classes.  They are parent-assisted, so I was excited to dance and learn with my girl.


Things have not gone how I'd imagined they would.  See, Abby LOVES to dance and is constantly dancing at home.  She also really likes to be the center of attention.  Naturally, I assumed she would shine in dance class and everything would be rainbows and butterflies. 

Um, no.  Not even close.

The first class, I held her most of the time, because she would throw herself on the ground and cry until I picked her up.  Normally I would just ignore her and let her cry.  She usually gives up when she realizes no one is watching her.  But I didn't really feel like I could do that this time.  Everyone in the class was looking at me and expecting me to get her under control.  So I picked her up.  She was so happy as long as I was holding her.

Things have very SLOWLY gotten better each week, with her spending more and more time out of my arms.  Last week (Week 5) was a TON better!  The best week yet.  BUT she still had a meltdown.  Her teacher actually said to me, "I've never seen a kid have a meltdown every single week."  Great.  My kid was now THAT kid.  The one that teachers want to hide from.  The one that makes the other parents roll their eyes. 

Despite the teacher's comment, I was feeling really positive about the progress Abby has made.  Ever since last week, she's been dancing around the house saying, "Dance Classes!" and saying the names of all of her new friends.  I thought maybe she had a revelation and was ready to dance.

Until today happened.

You see, normally, we go the evening classes, because I work during the day.  But our church rented out an amusement park tonight and we are going to that.  My mom took Abby to the morning dance class today so she wouldn't miss out. 

Bad idea.

The teacher was not the same.  She didn't know any of the kids.  And she kept crying for me.  I'm afraid that all of the progress we've made is down the drain now.  We're probably going to have to start over.  I swear this dance class is going to be the death of me.

I think in all of this God has been teaching me a very important lesson.  I need to be careful what kind of expectations I put on my kids.  Before this class started, I would imagine how much fun the class would be.  How cute Abby would be in her pink leotard, tutu, and slippers.  But I didn't stop there.  I also let my inner Anne Shirley run away with me, and I would imagine her being amazing at ballet and growing up to be a principal dancer in some really important dance company.  Shame on me.

I promise, from here forth, that I will NOT be a stage mom, and I will let my children choose their own paths.

Friday, July 22, 2011


Right now, my heart is full to the point of bursting.  I keep thinking about my little girls at home.  Last night, as I was getting them ready for bed, I witnessed the most tender moment between them.  I had them both laying on a blanket, and I was trying to put diapers and lotion and pjs on their squirmy bodies.

Vala had her hands clasped together and in her mouth, as most 3 month olds do.  Abby saw this and grabbed Vala's hands in her own and said, "Dear Jesus, Amen."  Then she folded her own hands together (making sure Vala's were still together), touched her forehead to Vala's forehead, and repeated her little prayer.  She was trying to teach Vala how to pray!

I cried as I watched all of this happening (big surprise), and I sent up my own prayer thanking God for giving me these precious girls and for already pulling Abby close to him.  I pray that she will follow Jesus all of her days and that she will be a good example to her little sister, who already looks up to her so much.

Now we just need to work on what comes between "Dear Jesus" and "Amen."  :) 

Linking up to Five Minute Friday with Gypsy Mama!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Great Placenta Scare of 2010

My pregnancy with Vala sucked.  There is no other way to put it.  I had SEVERE morning sickness, which I really think was Hyperemesis.  I lost 25 pounds, because I couldn't even keep water down. 

When we went in for the 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby we heard what no parents want to hear at any ultrasound.  "You need to have a level 2 ultrasound, because there is a heterogenous area on your placenta."  Um, what??  What does that even mean?  The midwife didn't even know, because it is a very uncommon thing.  So I googled.  I know that one should never do that for any medical abnormality, but I did it.  And I wished that I hadn't. 

Basically, a heterogenous area on a placenta is an area that is gel-like and thick.  It doesn't function like the rest of the placenta.  If the area gets bigger or spreads, it can keep a baby from getting the nutrients it needs via the placenta.  I didn't find much when I googled, but what I did find was scary and disheartening.  It many cases the baby didn't get enough nutrients because the placenta wasn't working and they died.  In other cases, they were born extremely early and died of complications from that.  In other cases, the baby and the mom died.  I was terrified.

I had to have an ultrasound every 4 weeks until she was born.  I prayed like I never have before.  Lots of other people prayed too.  Miraculously, the spot never spread or got any bigger.  I think that is a true testament to the power of prayer and the goodness of God!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me...

So last Friday was my 29th birthday.  I was feeling pretty great about turning 29.  I was happy and thinking that if the next 29 years are as good as these have been, getting older isn't going to be so bad.

And then I found my 1st gray hair.  On my birthday.

And I cried.  And then I laughed at the irony of it all.

Happy Birthday to me.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Show Us Your Life: My Sister!

So I have a sister.  She's amazing!  She's awesome!  She's beautiful!  I'm linking up to Show Us Your Life Single Edition with Kelly, because I think it's worth a try! 

Here is a picture of us:  (She's the one in blue, with the killer eyes to match!)

I don't want this to sound like some kind of advertisement, but I'm not sure how else to do this! 

My younger sister's name is Amber.  She is 27.  She loves Jesus with all her heart, and it shows in the way she loves her friends and family.  Family is absolutely #1 in her book, and she wants to have one of her own some day.  She is so good with my kids and is the best Auntie ever!

(Here she is banging on pots to ring in the New Year.  She totally brings the fun!) 

Amber is also an AMAZING singer!  She will be debuting her vocal stylings in August by singing the National Anthem before a Cincinnati Reds game!!  She has also sang in front of church many times, and we joke that she is The Wedding Singer, because she has sang in so many weddings.

My sister is a fabulous sister.  We have never had a fight in her entire life!  I'm being serious!  She is my best friend in the whole world and always has been.  I know that little sisters usually look up to big sisters, but I look up to her.    

I am writing this post because I know how hard dating can be.  It's not easy to find someone when you don't want to go to a bar to look for them.  And the Singles Group at church can be so intimidating.  So if you know any guys who would like to meet a beautiful, talented girl in the Cincinnati area, let me know!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

I Know I'm A Little Late, But

Happy Father's Day to this guy
 and this guy.
 Thank you both for loving Abby and Vala the way you do.  They are so lucky to have you in their lives!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Five Minute Friday: Home

I love reading Gypsy Mama's posts, especially the Five Minute Friday ones.  Today I thought I'd give it a try!


Home is where I want to be right now.  Just me and the girls.  Not at a job that isn't fulfilling.  I really want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but it is impossible.  We have bills to pay, and they won't get paid without my paycheck. 

My girls go to an amazing in-home daycare, which is run by a girl my age.  She has a son who is Abby's age and they love/hate each other.  I know she loves my kids like they are her own, and I am so thankful for that.  I just wish it was me home with them.

I want to be the one coming up with fun crafts and projects for Abby to do.  I want to be the one teaching her her letters and numbers.  I do these things, but it's hard on weeknights when I only get to see her for an hour and 1/2 before bedtime.  And weekends can be so hectic.  I need to start saying no more and staying home when I can.


That was fun!  And I feel a little better now that I got that off my chest.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Oh Happy Day Goes to Paris

So, I've been reading the blog Oh Happy Day for a little while now. Jordan lives in Paris and is constantly telling us about her favorite places in Paris. It is my dream to go to Paris one day, so I've been storing up these ideas. Well, Jordan is giving away a trip to the City of Light!!! Go to this page for a chance to win!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

New Blog


I'm starting a new blog. The old blog is still there, but I don't ever post in it. I think the last time I posted in there was in December of '09. Yikes! Bad Kitty!

Obviously lots of thinks have happened in the last year and a half. Steve and I both lost our jobs, we had another baby, Abby turned 2, etc. I will blog about all of these things, more for my own memory than anything else.

I promise to be a better blogger this time around!

Kitty Smitty