I have reached a point where I don't recognize the girl in the mirror anymore. When someone tags me in a picture on facebook, I untag it as fast as I can. If I see someone from high school while at the store, I hide. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I don't like looking at myself like this.
I constantly tell myself I'm going to get serious about eating right/exercising tomorrow. Or Monday. Or the 1st of the month...Right after I finish off this bag of cookies or tub of ice cream. Then I will start.
I have a gym membership, but I hate to go because I feel too fat to be there. How dumb is that? Isn't that what the gym is FOR?
I have never understood why I never make any progress and I think it's because I don't have any accountibility. There is only so much I can do alone. I need someone else to know about these goals.
So I am going to commit to getting rid of this weight. Every Wednesday I'm going to post how much I weigh. This scares the crap out of me, and I'm extremely embarrassed to put the number on paper (interweb?). But maybe that's a good thing.
So here it is: 196.5
My goal weight is 145. I don't have a specific time frame I would like to lose the 50 pounds in. That has been a huge problem of mine. I set unrealistic goals (20 pounds in 2 weeks? Yeah, I tried to do that once. Obviously didn't work.) and then feel devastated when I don't reach them.
Wish me luck!